Elated

One of my dearest friends had a baby yesterday.  

I was on edge from the time I woke up until I heard the news that Giada Renee had made her appearance into this world.  

Without me to be there.  

Cause everyone knows how I hate to miss ANYTHING.

But.....THIS...I had no choice.

So I waited.  Waited to hear that everything went ok.  That Mom, and especially baby were good.

You see I am 5 hours away.  And it is killing me.  Because when someone close to you has a baby for the first time, and you are a veteran at having babies (because you have 3), you feel like you need to be there.  Be there to tell them everything that no one told you.  

Things like how to keep you boobs from swelling cause you are not going to breastfeed, that you CAN wear your own pjs instead of the fashionable hospital gown, that you can take you OWN bottles to the hospital (and use them), that you can put your baby in any ol' outfit you want (cause she is yours)...you know? 

Things like that.  

But no.

I am here.  

In Lubbock.  Hoping that someone is there....there to tell her exactly what to do when her sweet little angel baby cries.  

Sigh   

Its one of those situations where life is going on...without you.  And there is nothing you can do about it.  

Bleh.

Why do I always have this incessant urge to be a part of EVERYTHING that happens to EVERYONE close to me?

Needless to say....she is beautiful.  Head full of red hair.  And deep down...I hope it stays that way.  Because redheads, as you know, have free spirits.  Are headstrong and full of personality....are the most fun people in the world.

I should know.

I am one. HA!

And I would love nothing more than this child to fill their hearts and lives full of more joy than you can imagine.  Because I don't think they know just what is in store for them, and what a child is going to bring to their lives. I don't think either one of them has felt joy like that in their lives.  And I cant wait to see them go through it.  

Especially with one another.

Being a parent is the single most amazing thing you will ever do in your entire life.

I think the world of Kyle and Kristina and I can't wait to watch their sweet Giada grow.

Just perfect.

Hiatus!

We have moved and I will not have internet until next Wednesday...I might die without it! But I will post pics of the new place when we get it...

Everything is Chaos!

In a good way....of course!  I just wanted to update since I found a minute.  


We sold our house!


We are currently shopping for one in Lubbock!


I have made 3 trips to Lubbock in the past week.....I'm exhausted!


We are on our second offer.  Second house.  


We have lots of choices so I'm not too worried.


What I am worried about is where we are having Christmas.  But I am at the point that I don't care WHERE we spend it as long as we get to have it with the kids.  Which I'm sure we will.  The rest of the family is just details.  


Maybe an even bigger worry should be the fact that we are officially homeless on December 29th.  


Wow.  


I'm not too worried because we have places to go....but I'm working on it.  


I still have lots of Christmas shopping to do and limited funds.  No big deal.  We are just trying to buy a house.  But its no different than every other year where we don't have any money. 


We have a busy month.


I have my brother's wedding in Fredericksburg on the weekend of the 18th, which I'm so excited about.  But still have nothing for the entire family to wear.


Actually here is a list of things to do:

1. Pack up the house, but keep the necessities readily available in case we have to live at my parents for a couple of weeks.
2. Cringe at #1.
3. Get enough boxes for #1 to be possible.
4. Find stuff for all 5 of us to wear to the wedding.
5. Find a place to live (house to buy)
6. Finish Christmas shopping.
7. Make sure our bills are paid so we get financing for a new house.
8. Cringe at #1 again.
9. Wrap all Christmas presents.
10. Try to bake all of the goodies that help make Christmas special.
11. Get Aubry's pictures done ASAP....possibly Raegan and Ty too!
12. Go online and get wedding present for my brother.
13. Figure out what I am going to do with my hair so I don't look like shit at my brother's wedding.
14. Christmas cards done and sent.
15. Have a nervous breakdown at #1
16. Get a date for a move depending on #5 closing date.  
17. Schedule a UHAUL depending on #16.

There is crap tons more in my head but you get the idea.  

Hey, Get a Cup Towel

The dreaded words that i absolutely hated hearing.  The words my Mom always said on any given evening, as far back as I can remember.  


They still, to this day, make my skin crawl!  


Get a cup towel always meant that my Mom needed me to dry the dishes.  Annnnd put them away as I went! 


We had a dishwasher.  


What the HELL?


Well the other night as I was doing my own dishes.  My own, 32 year old, dishes I realized something.  I was alone.  Doing the dishes by myself.  And even though I enjoy peace and quiet ANY time I can get it, it was odd. It was odd listening to all of the household commotion going on in the background of my own thoughts.  


Matt was wrestling Raegan into her pajamas, Tyler was singing, and Aubry was babbling and hollering at the top of her lungs.  That was ok with me.  I loved the fact that Matt finally had his turn at doing what I do everyday. 


It actually made me laugh to myself.  


And I know that, in his head, he was thinking about how much bullshit it is to have to do all of the bullshit he was having to do.  And where on earth is my wife? AND WHY ISN'T SHE HELPING ME?!?!?  


I guarantee that is exactly what went through the Dad brain of his.


But I kept washing.


Alone.


With my thoughts.


And I got all nostalgic for a minute.  I remembered how every night, without fail,  my Mom would tell me to get a cup towel.  She needed help with the dishes.  I remember how I hated it.  How bad it sucked.


And while I was alone that very minute, in my own grown up kitchen, I suddenly wished I had someone to talk to.  Then I started thinking of all of the talks we had.  How we bonded every night over the dishes.  


I realized.  For about 45 minutes of my mother's day, she had my attention.  And I hers.  And we would talk.  


We would talk about our day.  Talk about my dad, brother, or whoever the hell we needed to hash out.  We would laugh, we would talk about anything that came to mind, but most importantly we would connect.  We would connect with each other like we would not otherwise have done....without those dishes.


I mean, we had a dishwasher, but my mom insisted that I help dry the dishes. And I know now, that it was just an excuse so she could have me all to herself.


What woman LIKES to do dishes?  My 12 year old brain was convinced that it was MY mom!  


But now, my 32 year old brain knows now that it was just her trying to keep that line of communication open with her teenage daughter.   


I know that now.  I wished I knew it then, and could appreciate it as much as I do now.


Because after all, I now have two daughters of my own, and I only hope that we have the kind of relationship that THEY can talk to me in that same way I used to talk to my Mom.


Now when I go home to visit, and I see my mom start the dishwater, without thinking, I "Grab a Cup Towel" without being told.  Because, now, I enjoy spending that time with my mom.  Just being in her kitchen.  Having a chat. 


So, one of these days, when Raegan and Aubry are old enough to "Grab a Cup Towel" I will get the same eye roll that I used to give my Mom.  But I can over look it.  


You know why? 


Because that will mean that I get them, for at least 45 minutes, all to myself.

Halloween

Matt was gone all week again.  Damn why can't we sell this stupid house??? Grrrrrr....

But when he was home this weekend we had such a good time with him.

Friday night bowling...

She certainly LOVES her daddy!

Saturday was Ty's Fall Festival at school! Where I was appalled to find this...

The "Make Your Own Damn Cake Walk"! Seriously! What the Hell is the world coming to when you cant go to a child's festival at school and the lazy, good for nuthin' Mothers of the world won't get off their kesters and bake a cake! SERIOUSLY! This really grinds my gears!!

But something that doesn't, and makes me smile to no end is my sweet kitty, little witch, and my big 'ol vampire!

They love Trick-or-Treating so much! And frankly so do I! Halloween is my second favorite holiday of the year...And since we have our house on the market I couldn't strow out all of my Halloween decorations this year.

I'm still pissed about it!

That costume that Aubry is in.

My baby that is now 7 months old.

The one that is a giant!

Aubry.

It was the one that Raegan wore when she was 18months old.

It fit. Perfect!

My big ol fat baby! 

I just love it!